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The Different Kinds Of Text Messages We Receive And How To Interpret Them

The Different Kinds Of Text Messages We Receive And How To Interpret Them

Flirting, or perceived flirting, via text message is still relatively new considering that human beings have been copulating with one another for hundreds of years. We’re in a new age now.  Guys aren’t getting girl’s phone numbers on a bar napkin and waiting to call in two or three days. 2017 is the wild west in terms of flirtation.

With so many apps and ways to express what you’re feeling one would think that flirting would become easier. More streamlined. But I would argue that it’s harder than ever to flirt because we’re bombarded with so many options. There are simply too many to choose from and this muddles the water a bit.

Was that text message her flirting with me or is she just being nice? Was that kissy face emoji she sent you on Snapchat after you sent her a selfie in the car a message that she wants to hook up? How can you know?  It’s difficult to determine exactly what a person is trying to get across in this day and age, and I’ve sat down and examined some of the most frequent messages that you’ll run into.


Any variation of this text from a girl is cause for celebration. You are 100% percent getting laid if a girl sends you a text message with no follow up and it reads like any of the following: “Hi”, “Hiiiiiiii”, or “Heyyyyyyy.” All you have to do is not muck the return text up and you’re in like swimwear, baby.

Using a reaction on someone’s text

Iphone recently introduced a feature for iMessage which allows users to “react” to text messages. You can select a heart, a “HaHa”, a “!!!”, and a thumbs up or thumbs down. If a guy or girl is reacting to one of your text messages, it’s a pretty clear sign that they don’t want to have a conversation with you. This is a new way to signal the end of a text thread, so if someone does this to you it’s probably best to just leave them alone.

“I’ll let you know what we end up doing!!”

This is a line pretty much exclusively used by girls texting guys that they have no intention of sleeping with. The guy will text a girl on Friday or Saturday evening and ask what she’s up to and to get the guy off of her back, she’ll respond with something similar to the sentence above. She’s not going to let you know what bar she’s at, and her haha’s and lol’s that she keeps sending you are her letting you down easy. By all means, shoot your shot. But don’t be surprised if you get a message like this one.

I don’t know what else to say. Sorry.

You’re fucked, man. Time to hang ‘em up and find a new show because she’s just not that into you.

“[Your name here].”

This one is usually reserved for two people who have been hooking up for a while. You’ve either done something terribly wrong that she is going to let you hear about or she just wants to see you. In either one of those situations, you’re probably going to end up having sex so congrats on that.

*sends you a funny article or video*

There’s a pretty good chance you’ve already read the article or watched the video that she’s just sent you. She knows this. It doesn’t matter, though. It’s a conversation starter, and once again, if this is what is happening than you are probably three or four hours of text messaging away from getting laid. These types of text messages are usually reserved for mid-afternoon workdays. She’s bored at work, knows you’re also bored at work, and wants to chat. Your best bet in a situation like this is to ask if she wants to come through for dinner around 7 tonight. Just do it.

“You really don’t get it, do you?”

If you haven’t been on the receiving end of a text message like this than you have never tried winning a girl back. This isn’t exactly an L, but it’s certainly not a win either. It’s somewhere right in between that. She’s definitely thought about getting back together with you but she’s hesitant because of something you’ve done. Maybe you’re a terrible listener. Perhaps you’re just an asshole that doesn’t want to hear anything you don’t agree with. Whatever the case, if she’s sending you this you have some work left to do.

I don’t know about you guys, but these are the most common text messages my friends and I run into. Figuring out when and how to respond to a text is half the battle. If you’re really sick of the mind games that go along with text messaging, just start e-mailing like I do. It’s much more efficient.

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