Scrambled Eggs Are A Disgusting Blackeye On The Breakfast Community
I’ve been trying to remain positive as part of an NYE resolution I made for myself and for the most part I think I’ve done a good job of that. I’ll never be a person that wakes up with a smile on my face, but I’ve adjusted my worldview a bit in 2019 and my disposition has improved dramatically since the beginning of January. If there is one thing I will not abide by though it is scrambled eggs. I had to be up at the asscrack of dawn this morning for a mandatory work meeting where breakfast was provided. I was already pissed off because I had to come in on a Saturday, but when I got there my body became consumed with rage when I saw the buffet style setup.
You know breakfast is going to be fucking trash when the metal buffet tray are brought out with heating gel placed underneath. Hashbrowns, pancakes, and of course eggs were laid out and to my surprise the pancakes were not altogether horrible. The scrambled eggs however, were an affront to my senses. They sat there, probably ten pounds worth of scrambled egg in a metal container, not being properly heated by the gel underneath and moving like jello whenever someone bumped the table. People crowded around the scrambled eggs like heathens, breathing on them and dumping ladels full onto their plates without a care in the world. The sight of those eggs made me want to puke.
Scrambled eggs are the red headed stepchild of the egg family. Served alone next to say a side of hashbrowns or bacon, they are sad, clumpy, and unappealing to the naked eye. I can concede here and now that throwing cheese into your scrambies is good. Cheese eggs are good, okay? But I’d still take two eggs over easy any day of the week.
To the scrambled egg with cheese community, I apologize for lumping you into this but I have to speak my truth. If you’re eating eggs just straight up scrambled you’re a piece of shit. For some reason scrambies become colder faster than any other egg variation and when they do cold, oh boy do you have a disgusting entree sitting in front of you.
I’d honest to god rather eat nothing than eat three or four eggs scrambled. There are so many different ways to enjoy an egg that I cannot believe people willingly order scrambled while out to eat or in the comfort of their own home.
For one thing scrambled eggs are not as filling. Two eggs scrambled does not fill you up the same way that two eggs over easy does. There’s also an amateurism to scrambled eggs that disgusts me.
What, you can’t flip an egg over without breaking the yolk to make an over easy? Are you that big of a mongoloid that you can’t crack the egg for sunny side up without, once again, breaking the yolk?
Scrambled is for five year olds that dip everything in ketchup. And let’s talk about people who eat scrambled eggs with ketchup for a moment. What in the ever living fuck is wrong with you people? Who told you that was a thing people do in civilized society?
I’m straight up disgusted with scrambled eggs and anyone who eats them at the moment. It’s undeniably the worst way to eat an egg and I truly think lesser of you if you prefer them this way. Eat an over easy egg with a slice of buttered toast for me one time. It’s the best way to start the morning.