This Bender Through December Seems Like It's Never Going To End
Two nights ago I found myself at a bar with a few dear friends guzzling beer and eating fried food. I seem to remember Notre Dame attempting to play a football game but I can’t be certain. At one point a friend who was only in town for a few more hours (as he had to catch a plane back to his home in Los Angeles) turned to me and asked me if I knew what day it was.
“Saturday, I think. It could be Thursday, though. I honestly don’t know anymore.”
Now obviously I was joking. But only sort of. Over the past week I’ve completely abandoned the routines that keep my life from spiraling out of control. Going to the gym is a distant memory. Arriving at work on time, fresh, and showered hasn’t happened for me in a few days. Nothing productive is getting done and I hate to admit this but I’m lowkey ready for New Years Eve to be over so I can get back to normal schedule.
I’m not usually one to complain about extended periods of time off from work. But these past few days - which feels more like several weeks - is getting a tad bit ridiculous. In the past it has never seemed so exhausting to be going out basically every single night and housing whatever kind of drink is placed in front of me. This year is different. We are at the tail end of what can only accurately be described as “no mans land.” There are no rules between Christmas and New Years Eve. I feel like I’m existing in a thick fog at the moment, two glasses of red wine deep at all times as I stumble from one destination to another.
I guess it started on Christmas Eve and got progressively worse as the days dragged on. I know that come tomorrow night, as I do laundry and try to piece together the last few days that I’ll start to become scared of going back to work, but right now I have no interest in partying anymore than I already have. I’m cashed out, running on reserves as my body begs me to drink something other than booze or coffee. For the first time ever I’m thinking about doing Sober January. It remains to be seen if I’ll actually be able to complete a feat of that magnitude, but damnit I need to try. These past few days have ground me down into mince meat and I need this month to end. Put me out of my misery. I’m exhausted.