I’m Thinking About Making The Switch To A Flip Phone
Before the boo’s rain down upon me harder than they do for John Cena at a WWE match, I implore you to hear me out. We as a society talk all of the time about how the world would be such a better place if we could just get off of our phones and enjoy the sights, sounds, and people around us, yet when push comes to shove we’re content to continue this incredibly rude behavior that has now just become acceptable.
I’m guilty of checking my phone in mid-conversation with people I haven’t seen in years. I check my phone when I’m on dates, at the movies, and in the shower. Sometimes I’ll be on my computer looking at Twitter and without even thinking about it I’ll get on my phone and get on Twitter because I am a colossal idiot.
I am a slave to my iPhone, and I’ve been sick of it for a long while with no real idea of how to break my habit. Little did I know that the solution that was staring me right in the face. Believe it or not, flip phones are still readily available at all major wireless carriers. I already know that the people working at my Verizon store are going to try like hell to get me not to switch because they’ll be losing a metric fuckton of money when I do this, but I honestly want to get a flip phone and try this out for a few weeks.
The best part about making the switch with me is that you won’t even have to give up your smart phone entirely. Walk into your local phone store or get onto Amazon, buy a brand new flip phone for like thirty bucks and then keep your iPhone for when you have WiFi available. You can still get on Twitter, send snaps, and post contrived photos to Instagram at basically anytime, the flip phone will just keep you from being on the smartphone constantly.
Switching to a flip phone is not only going to save you money going forward, it’s also going to get you back into reality. You’ll be able to enjoy a dinner with your friends and really listen to the conversations being had.
Cautious optimism tells me that it won’t matter if you’re the only person at the table with a flip phone, the fact that you’ve made this noble decision will be enough to inspire the rest of the people in your party to either turn their smart phone off or at the very least put it on silent mode in their pocket.
And let’s imagine for a moment that you’re a single man or woman reading this right now. Think about how great a flip phone is going to be as a conversation starter with someone you meet at a party or bar? You’ll be a beacon of light and optimism amongst a bunch of yuppie sheep wherever you go, and I can guarantee you that people will find this refreshing.
I guess in theory there’s a good chance that you’ll be on the smartphone just as much as you would be anyways because basically every conceivable place in the universe now has WiFi, but at the very least it’ll be more work for you to get on that thing and check your favorite Instagram group for new memes. After a week or two I doubt you’ll miss the features on the iPhone all that much to be completely honest.
The solution has been right in front of our eyes for years, but we’re blinded by the flashy new features on the iPhone X (or the Samsung Galaxy if you’re one of those people who hate themselves.) I don’t know if this experiment is going to be a smashing success or an abysmal failure, but I’m bored and it might be fun to see what it’s like to live life as an adult in 2001 for a little while.