Boy Scouts of America Are Dropping The Word "Boy" To Try And Entice Girls To Join
Yesterday the Boy Scouts of America announced that they would be dropping the “boy” from their name in an attempt to get more girls to begin signing up for the program. I guess I’m a little bit out of the loop on the goings on with BSA because I could have sworn they went out of business years ago.
If you’re signing up to be a Boy Scout in 2018 as an elementary school kid you’re basically telling the world that you’ve already given up. Resigning yourself to a life outside of the popular circle. I’m sorry to be harsh but that’s just the truth of the matter. Joining up with them at age 11 is social suicide.
I mean is there a more irrelevant organization in America than the Boy Scouts? They accept kids ranging from ages 11-17, which means that if you want to become an Eagle Scout you need to stay with them for SIX YEARS? I don’t know how the promotion system works but fuuuuck that. Technically speaking the Eagle Scouts are probably a little bit sadder than the Cubbies because you’d be on your way to college by then, but either way - come on. Just play a sport like everyone else in school.
Back in the 70s, the Boy Scouts were uber popular with the youth, but even I can remember as a kid in the late 90s thinking that all of the guys in my grade who became Boy Scouts were just strange. You signed up to forage for berries in the woods, make wooden racecars that you pushed down a chute, and voluntarily camped for days on end with the other weirdos in the school district because you couldn’t make the junior pro basketball team. Keep those badges and those stupid uniforms way the hell away from me, alright? This isn’t a Wes Anderson movie this is real life.
I guess in a historical sense this is breaking news as the Boy Scouts are probably doing this more for publicity than anything else. I mean I clicked on the link, didn’t I? But how about this burn from the Girl Scouts of America, who clearly saw through the ruse for what it really was - a desperate money grab.
“I formally request that your organization stay focused on serving the 90 percent of American boys not currently participating in Boy Scouts,” Kathy Hopinkah Hannan, the president of the Girl Scouts, wrote at the time to her counterpart, Randall Stephenson of the Boy Scouts.
Facial. Total facial. That’s a third degree burn. 90 percent of American boys aren’t in Boy Scouts. That’s an insane statistic. Girl Scouts of America absolutely dominates the Boy Scouts. They sell delicious cookies to the masses year in and year out while their male counterparts are stuck going door to door selling environmentally conscious popcorn.
That popcorn was garbage, too by the way. I remember my mom buying it when they’d come knocking out of pity. Those poor saps never had two pennies to rub together and I don’t think announcing that girls are allowed into the club is going to draw them away from the glitz and glamor of GSA. Good try, good effort, but the Boy Scouts were weird in the 90s and they’re still weird today.