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A hearty "Jambo!" to you.

These are my musings and recommendations. I write about everything. Enjoy your stay.

The Three Wall Decorations That You Can Find In Any Girls Apartment

The Three Wall Decorations That You Can Find In Any Girls Apartment

The first apartment that one moves into post-college is usually pretty unimpressive. There’s a lot of hand me down must-haves like the old coffee maker from your parents house. A couch that your aunt and uncle who live a few minutes from your new city were just about to get rid of. Pots and pans bought cheap from a garage sale that you passed on your way to move in. There’s no shame in any of this. Accruing nice things for an apartment takes time, and that first one isn’t really supposed to be super nice.

It’s in the second, third, or fourth apartment you’ve paid rent in where true interior design can take place. For men that means (hopefully) no more air mattresses, college sports flags adorning bedroom walls, or posters without frames on them. But single men living alone don’t usually break their bad habits until they begin cohabitating with a significant other.

For single women I’ve noticed that oftentimes the kitchen, living room, and bedroom all have a cohesive theme. They are able to make an otherwise grungy apartment look moderately nice, whereas a man in that same place would plop his things down and be totally comfortable living in squalor. With women’s apartments, there is rarely a drop off in aesthetically pleasing decor from room to room. They are the fairer sex for a reason, and chief among is the ability to design the interior of a home.

Bathroom hand towels match the bath mats, hanging wall plants reside in the kitchen and living room, and in the bedroom the dresser drawer and bedside tables appear to be apart of a set.

But then you get to the walls of the place and you start to realize that there are just a few things that every single girl in her 20s has as decoration - whether it’s in the living room, bedroom, or above the toilet in the half bath. It’s strange that girls, who seem to know what they’re doing in regards to decorating an apartment, cannot for the life of them avoid buying these three particular things.

The following decorations are essential for any girls apartment in her mid-20s. I don’t care if she went to the Rhode Island School of Design (ranked number one interior design school in the world), she’s got one of those suckers lying around somewhere. They are primarily bought from places like Bed, Bath, and Beyond or World Market, and boy oh boy are they awful.

Live, Laugh, Love

This is the most obvious of the bunch, and honestly I’ve seen this sign in multi-million dollar homes owned by couples that are in their fifties. But no one on Earth loves this particular sign more than the twenty something girl who lives with two of her friends post-grad.

I don’t really know what it is about it that makes people want to buy it so badly. I mean what does that even mean when you break it down?

Live? Yeah, I’m breathing. Laughing? Well I’m certainly laughing at you for buying this hackneyed sign. Loving? Nope. I hate most people. And listen, I understand that I’m being a little harsh here. I’m criticizing a sign that literally 90% of the female population owns in this country.

I do understand that it’s a nice sentiment and for someone that doesn’t have a heart made of black coal it’s probably a cute thing to put above the stove, but can we all admit it’s become a little bit played out? It’s just so basic, and I guess at the end of the day if you’re fine admitting that then go wild. Enjoy your cheap wooden sign that everyone else has.

Paris Is Always A Good Idea

Most of the girls who have this sign in their room have it in a picture frame, and it’s situated on their dresser drawer next to a collage of college friends and their jewelry. It could also be sitting on the bar cart next to a bottle of Tito’s, but the location doesn’t really matter all that much.

The girl who owns one of these probably doesn’t know that this quote is from a movie called “Sabrina”, and there’s also a very good chance that she has never actually been to Paris. That doesn’t matter though, because in 2018 giving off the appearance of being cultured (i.e. having a framed sign that literally says “Paris” in it) is just as good as the actual thing.

Inspirational quotes like these ones are a common theme amongst the 20-something female crowd, but if I had to wake up to a picture every day that said “Paris Is Always A Good Idea” (or “Live, Laugh, Love” for that matter) I’d just be pissed off. “Oh, you think Paris is a good idea? Well I have to go to fucking work right now and kiss ass for eight hours. Paris sounds expensive and you know what expensive is? A bad idea.”

Audrey Hepburn With A Cigarette Holder

The creme de la creme of basic wall decor for the twenty something girl. I don’t care if you identify as goth, prep, emo, punk, rastafarian, wanderlust-y, outdoorsy, rustic, sporty, or otherwise.

If you have a pulse and a vagina, you’ve lived in an apartment where there has been a framed Audrey Hepburn poster of her holding that long fucking cigarette holder with a tiara on her head. The royalties on this picture have got to be out of this world because I see this it pretty much every time I step foot inside an apartment of the opposite sex.

Never Be The Owner Of The Boat, Always Be The Guest

Never Be The Owner Of The Boat, Always Be The Guest

People Are Being Way Too Cavalier About Where They Choose To Facetime Others

People Are Being Way Too Cavalier About Where They Choose To Facetime Others