I'm Consuming 5 or 6 Nalgene Bottles Full Of Water Everyday And My Piss Has Never Been Clearer
Let’s do the math on this. 32 times 5 is what? A hundred and fifty or something like that? I’m not a math wizard. I know it’s something around there. Everyday when I get into the office I fill up a 32 ounce Nalgene water bottle with sink juice from the break room. I get the first one down as fast as possible. I like to set a good pace for the day. Three Nalgene bottles full of water before noon is what I try to choke down.
Now I know that tap water isn’t ideal, but I don’t have a BRITA filter here like I do at home so just give me a break. Tap is the best I can do. And honestly when you’re consuming as much water as I am, you don’t want ice cold filtered water. You want room temperature water that you can guzzle quickly.
I’ve been drinking a lot of water. And I mean a lot of water. I have to get up to pee twice an hour at work right now and while some of my coworkers probably find that annoying I simply do not give a fuck. One of my resolutions this year was to drink more water.
You hear it all the time - from magazines, hot girls on instagram, and your family and friends - drink.more.water. And so that is what I’m doing.
I once read about a radio station challenge where a guy chugged two gallons of water in an hour or something like that and died. I’m trying to get to just below that threshold every day. I don’t want to die, I just want my pee to be clear and my skin to be radiant.
I get a strange sense of accomplishment from heading into the bathroom two times an hour, choosing a urinal, and watching as urine explodes from my hole as clear as the tap water that runs from the sink. I now wake up in the morning pissed off because my pee is usually yellow from not being able to drink water while I sleep. It’s become a bit of a hassle having to find a restroom twice an hour when I’m not at work running errands or whatever, but man is it all worth it. There’s no greater feeling than looking down at a toilet bowl and not being able to tell whether someone just peed there or not because you just peed straight water. I’m loving life right now. And I’m also loving water.