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A Midwesterners Biased Ranking Of The Most Obnoxious Fanbases In The Country

A Midwesterners Biased Ranking Of The Most Obnoxious Fanbases In The Country

A while back I sent out a tweet asking anyone who followed me which university had the most obnoxious fan base in the country. As expected, answers varied across the board but I didn’t get the engagement numbers I was looking for and decided to shelve the idea because the data just wasn’t there.

And then it hit me. This is a blog. I’m not writing for The New York Times here. I can throw anything at the wall and see what sticks. Forget about polling and what my Twitter following thinks. Here’s my personal opinion on the worst fanbases in the country, based totally on my experiences as a Big Ten graduate and my current location (Chicago,IL). If you don’t agree with this list that’s your right, but unless you’re going to write a rebuttal blog about it I don’t care what you think. Thanks.

SEC Loyalists

I blame Paul Finebaum for this ridiculous myth that the SEC is some all-powerful football deity. And the SEC is pretty terrible in basketball outside of Kentucky and occasionally Tennessee. Yes, Alabama is good at football. But that doesn’t make the entire conference good by transitive property.

Sure, Nick Saban won one with LSU a looooong time ago but people seem to forget that Ohio State has won it (Big Ten) as well as Clemson (ACC) during the playoff era. The SEC Loyalist loves saying shit like “Well we only lost to Alabama by 10” as if that is some sort of crowning achievement. Georgia fans on Twitter act like they should have been included in the playoff over Notre Dame and Oklahoma simply for playing Alabama the closest of any other team this season. Basically what I’m saying is that if you’re not Alabama, don’t tout your fifth place finish in the SEC as a reason for why your team is good.

Miami (OH)

This one isn’t going to make much sense to anyone outside of the Midwest, but this is a biased review. I live in Chicago, and Miami of Ohio graduates are everywhere. From my observations, most of them live and play in Wrigleyville, arguably the worst neighbordhood in Chicago. They wear their Miami garb to bars on Saturday afternoons in the fall as if their team is relevant, and they won’t hesitate to mention that Miami (OH) is one of the best schools in the country. The fact that you have to say Miami (and then parenthesize Ohio) automatically delegitimize this school for me. I hate this school solely because of the graduates who roam Chicago day in and day out acting like their football team matters.

Michigan

Perpetually overrated, smug to the nth degree, and year in and year out acting as if the football team is one season away from competing with Alabama for a national championship. I’ll give them this - they’ve had a nice little run in basketball (sidenote: no one loves watching a Michigan State basketball game more than a Michigan fan), but Beilein and Co. will always play second fiddle to the cash cow that is Jim Harbaugh.

The University of Michigan is the worst of the worst. As a proud graduate of Michigan State University, you should have seen this coming from a mile away. I grew up hating these fuckers and I’ll go to my grave the same way. They claim academic superiority every chance they get. They treat anyone who didn’t go to Michigan like a second class citizen. Nobody likes them (outside of the inbred fanbase and the alumni who who insist on wearing Michigan garb out in public every single chance they get). I honest to God think if you polled all Big Ten schools alumni the most hated would be Michigan and it wouldn’t be close. These people suck. I could go on for days but writing even two paragraphs on them has already got me feeling queasy. They suck, and if you don’t agree then so do you.

DePaul

Why the hell would you ever go to DePaul? This is another one where you just won’t understand it unless you live in Chicago. I have no respect for DePaul. It’s a MAC school that thinks their shit doesn’t stink because it’s in the middle of Lincoln Park. A trained monkey could get accepted into DePaul and the people who go here are mostly just rich kids that were too stupid to get into the University of Illinois.

Northwestern

Socially awkward and Northwestern University go together like peanut butter and jelly. Graduates of Northwestern are so dorky, so ridiculously straight edge and weird that I actually feel bad making fun of them. But I can’t hold my tongue. Northwestern grads don’t care about their sports teams. They’re not cocky like Michigan fans and they don’t rub their academics in your face. They just suck to be around at parties and smell weird. If Northwestern was a kid in your first grade class, it’d be that boy named Terrance who you really don’t want to invite to your birthday party but your mom makes you do it to be nice.

Texas A&M

I’ve had limited interaction with A&M fans in the past, but this was far and away the most voted on school when I posed the aforementioned Twitter question a month back. I don’t really understand the hatred, but I’m including them because I love to hate on stuff, and I’ll jump on the A&M hate train for no other reason than it seems like fun. Sorry Aggies.

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