Screen Shot 2018-04-16 at 4.54.20 PM.png

A hearty "Jambo!" to you.

These are my musings and recommendations. I write about everything. Enjoy your stay.

I Bring My Lunch To Work In An Old Lululemon Bag And I Hate Myself For It

I Bring My Lunch To Work In An Old Lululemon Bag And I Hate Myself For It

Lunchtime in the office is a harrowing experience. I don’t know about you, but I hate when someone sneaks up from behind me while I’m waiting for my food to heat up in the microwave and then proceeds to ask me a question about what it is I’m eating that day.

I don’t know why it bothers me but it does. I just want to get away from everyone for a few minutes during lunch and it’s nearly impossible. Like it or not, you’re being judged on what you bring in. And the bag that you carry your lunch in says a lot about you.

I don’t know why people decided that Lululemon bags could double as lunch pails, but here we are. In days of yore, I used to bring in a full blown lunch box. I think it was an Arctic Ice or something like that. It had two compartments, both outfitted with technology that kept your shit relatively cold over the course of the morning until it was time to reheat.

I had no shame in carrying my lunch box to and from work. In fact, I reveled in it. I’d get weird looks from people on the train and it was my hope that I’d catch the eye of some hot administrative assistant that was equal parts confused and intrigued by the lunch box. You just don’t see it everyday.

And my days of bringing a lunch box with me to work are long gone. That was four or five years ago at this point and I’ve changed apartments a few times over since then. You lose stuff in moves to different apartments, and one such casualty was my trusty lunchbox. I’m now ashamed to admit that I’m a part of the lulu lunch bag gang. And it isn’t so much the fact that everyone else is doing this that bothers me. It’s the fact these bags aren’t really meant for carrying your lunch.

They are too small, too skinny to allow most tupperware containers to fit comfortably inside. The lulu bag that everyone uses for their lunches is the one they give you at the store for a small purchase - like a single t-shirt or a pair of shorts. But when I bring leftover Chinese takeout or some tupperware with cottage cheese and two separate Ziplocs carrying a submarine sandwich and salt and vinegar chips, I’m in deep shit if I’m forced to throw it all in one of these lulu bags. The alternative would be to just throw it all in a plastic bag, but who has plastic bags anymore? We’ve gone reusable and I can’t remember the last time I had a plastic bag in my apartment. Perhaps I should go to Lululemon and ask for a large bag next time I’m in there shopping. Maybe I should just buy a new lunchbox. Anything would be better than what I currently am - a sheep, following the masses to slaughter with my lunch in a tiny lulu bag announcing to the world that I too am a basic bitch.

Beto O' Rourke Should Get A Premium Snapchat Account To Raise Money For His Presidential Run

Beto O' Rourke Should Get A Premium Snapchat Account To Raise Money For His Presidential Run

The Mute Button Is Twitter's Greatest Contribution To Society

The Mute Button Is Twitter's Greatest Contribution To Society