Beto O' Rourke Should Get A Premium Snapchat Account To Raise Money For His Presidential Run
Somewhere along the way Snapchat got lost in the weeds. Perhaps it was Kylie Jenner denouncing the app on Twitter. Maybe it was Instagram instituting a new feature that would render Snapchat essentially useless.
One thing is for certain, though - Snapchat is not as popular as it used to be. This could all be wildly untrue as well because I’m completely and unabashedly washed, but from my viewpoint Snapchat sucks now. No one is using as frequently as they used to, but I have an idea that could bring them all the way back. I’m not just talking about a return to normal profits. I’m talking about surpassing Instagram and Facebook and becoming a behemoth that Wall Street will lose their minds over. Snapchat will be making money hand over fist and it all starts with their “premium” snap service that’s been offered now for a few years.
We all know what premium snapchat accounts are for. It’s a way for a person to make a little side cash showing off their private parts. Made popular by adult film stars and now making its way to what I refer to as “Instagram models”, this premium service is a way for hot people to give their fans a behind the scenes look at their daily life while also, more than likely, showing a little bit of skin.
From what I’ve read online this can be very lucrative for anyone that is looking to make a little money, and with Bernie Sanders announcing his intent to run for president again, it’s only logical that Beto O’Rourke, the Democratic Party’s golden child, will soon throw his name into the hat as well. Beto is fantastic grassroots organizer and has the ability to raise a ton of money.
But let’s not forget that this is 2019 and now more than ever, if you want to win in politics you’ve got to get the young people to the polls. And what better way to get them out to vote than to hang a little brain on Snapchat? Everyone’s thinking it and I’m just going to say it - I want to see what Beto is working with. Jeff Bezos is sending dick pics willy nilly (pun absolutely intended) to a mistress and I’ve been scouring the web trying to see pictures of it. You wanna know what makes headlines? Dick pics. You wanna know what’s going to get fundraising numbers up through the roof? Dicks pics on a premium snapchat.
Honestly I should be campaign manager for Beto in 2020. You don’t need money from corporations or big bad PACs when you have a Premium Snapchat account, and the best part is none of these other crusty candidates can even think about copying the idea. No one wants to Bernie’s shriveled balls with a dog filter slapped over them and you can be damn sure that the same can be said for The Donald. You want to talk about galaxy brain ideas look no further than this one. Get Beto a premium Snapchat account STAT. We’re all dying to see that piece.